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sail boat

by Sans

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sondersmusic "If I stop making art, who am I? Will I die?
Probably not.
But if I stop making art, who am I?" Favorite track: revival.
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1.
revival 01:43
writing with my eyes closed revival from the opposite state where we shoot the five-o HI tide flow, ancients from the HNL raised me well sent me to sea they filled me with the spirit and made me a sail trying to put my city on, I ain’t aiming to fail but no matter how long I travel I know where home is spin the globe, but keep coming home because I’m homesick no intentions of keeping up with the joneses I’m lapping the pack cause when I go, I goes in lot of friends left and won’t come back soon rep my city on the map, running out of thumbtacks still insecure, still afraid you won’t like this still unsure if I’m comfortable with my likeness first world problems, imposter syndrome wish it were enough to be beloved by my kinfolk if I stop making art, will I die? probably not, but if I stop making art who am I? I am a shadow who is trying to be honest teachers said he had potential, so my life is a promise who is it to? who am I to you? who am I when the beat ends and this song is through? who am I when the record stops spinning on the last track and my voice lives in your memory as a flashback? thank you for coming with me on this journey sail boat
2.
yolo 01:57
this beat got me feeling lucid, feel me like masseuses no fake spiritual rapping bout chakras and sutras let’s go to the root of the human problem simple formulation: why are all people not included? most are bad scientists, hypothesis unproven I aspire to Socrates, I gotta be this foolish know thyself, I know that I know nothing at all so when I step to the mic there ain’t no fronting involved you ain’t gonna solve nothing ’til you solve yourself, bruh that goes way way way beyond self-love I’m talking integrating shadow, overcoming limitation reading some philosophy, practicing thoughtful contemplation or maybe I’m wrong and you should YOLO bro but YOLO won’t help you when Bachan gets cancer YOLO won’t help when grandpa in the hospital and drugs he’s on have got him all fired up and hostile YOLO won’t help when Uncle Claude almost dies surfing or when mom’s car wrecks and she needs surgery YOLO YOLO death is coming soon I can hear him creeping up on me I’m prepared to pay the fee, I require nothing free done wasting my time with debaters talking right and wrong if you up I ain’t concerned cause I know the tide’ll fall that line was addressed to my self these songs are therapy, call it requisite help my friends hold me up, thanks for letting me belt I’m holding nothing back, so every effort is felt YOLO YOLO YOLO YOLO
3.
metaphor 01:56
not trying to impress, I’m trying to relate to be honest, there’s not a lot on my plate less busy than I appear, spend most time plotting people seem unapproachable until you watch them up around seven, read for three hours then have breakfast, drink coffee, and shower teach until the evening, maybe catch music but most nights come home, sit alone brooding is that impressive seems like a blessing is that impressive still seems like a blessing I been in love a few times, sorry if you’re listening probably mad that I’m more honest on a beat than when we’re intimate it’s not that I don’t care it’s that so often my thoughts take me away and I’m not there that’s not fair insert cliche here bout love and war we need a better metaphor cause war requires dying tired of trying and failing ships weren’t made for harbor, this body was made for sailing that’s not an excuse, it’s a reason I am the only cause of my heart’s treason sometimes I wish I could stay and then inspiration comes and it takes me away that’s not an excuse, it’s an explanation this tug of war ‘tween impulse and patience the rope is my soul, strain at both ends while watching partners become my old friends I been in love a few times, still don’t know what love is is it thought? action? ritual passion? I don’t know what time is if our memories fade, then did we really find bliss or was it illusion, sometimes I can’t remember your smile and it hurts me to lose it need a better metaphor than a boat at sea cause there’s no love near when I’m floating free
4.
I used to be afraid to write about myself my middle school students didn’t care bout nothing else they taught me patience, kindness, and understanding and that a good teacher must be loving and demanding I’m more the latter, working on the former wish I was a WonderTwin so I could take the form of water, let me be the wave that carries people to the promised land and not to the grave I will not degrade I will recompose I will be the verse I will be the prose I will be the word I will be the truth I will will a world where only the evil lose I want to not lie when they ask how I am and I say that I’m fine, wish they’d ask me again more honest the second time, why is it the case? cause I can’t believe anyone who knew me would stay that’s honest my shadow boxing my lights out, unconscious I want this moment to last but afraid that if I hold tight, the sand will slip through my grasp I will fade away I will disappear I will live today I will face my fear I will be the word I will be the truth I will will a world where evil is good too
5.
oh, Ohtoro this got that bon dance feel to it, don’ it now let them horns blow step I came up on the shovel dance my people digging roots while the band play bon dance, the only time I ever let my flags wave I’ll admit I can’t spit a lick of Japanese but still move my hips to rhythms that my people handed me wooden geta on my feet keep my cypher complete naw I’m rocking rubber slippers and I’m feeling the beat I used to have a hopi coat, but outgrew it with age so you can find me in a tee around the band on the stage now bring the strings in that’s nice now let the horns blow step you can skip this track if you ain’t from where I’m from where people dance in circles till the summer is done I say you can skip this track if you ain’t from where I’m from where people dance in circles till the summer is done I grew up between Soto Mission and Hongwanji in Nu’uanu I remember the drums playing late into the night remember walking with my mama to the bon dance little ass kid with a bowl cut and a hopi coat trying to remember the moves and forgetting eating yakitori and saimin between songs dancing now let the horns blow step I still go back I forget my steps sometimes but when the music plays the drums play I remember you can skip this track if you ain’t from where I’m from where people dance in circles till the summer is done I say you can skip this track if you ain’t from where I’m from where people dance in circles till the summer is done let the horns blow
6.
SANS VERSE white flag was the first time I heard someone from my state rap, then heard Emirc Honolulu was the anthem back then and still bumps, like riding in a truck used to write that emotional rap still do, cause I can’t stop, won’t stop feeling wrote slam poetry, but kept flowing free something similar to pacific ocean breezes I love the HI state hip hop vibe rubber slippers in the cypher outside Jazzminds: Big Mox, KLuv, Deadbeats crew inspired the kid to freestyle for the first time still remember how a first love feels all butterflies inside, let em out on stage been writing for the past nine years break chrysalis open, now I let my words off page
 ZACK CHORUS I used to love her ooooh, I love her still I used to love her ooooh, I love her still
 CREED VERSE We can take it back, back in the days back pack in a daze when a rap was amazed In a track with the ADAT packed in the playback Snapped to your face black tapped in the 8-track I remember recording at Joe Dub’s I used to mess up with my lines but then the fam showed love Regardless of repertoire or crew I had to call Got one shot to fall but always ripping it raw Made some mistakes and always try to improve On the next move to do in order for power moves Put on my shoes and ready to bust flows Wherever the bus goes, wherever I must go So much soul and passion for this reaction This hip hop thang got me loving the fashion The culture, the movement, the style how we do it The truest congruent to my life is music ZACK CHORUS I used to love her ooooh, I love her still I used to love her ooooh, I love her still
 SANS put your hands up if you love that real hip hop put your hands up up one time put your hands up if you love that HI hip hop put your hands up up one time now put your hands up if you love that real hip hop put your hands up up one time put your hands up if you love that HI hip hop put your hands up up one time
7.
nu'uanu 02:47
I love where I’m from I love it so much my valley scenic you ain’t seen it Nu’uanu and Hialoa those be my streets, kid 23 years in Apartment 25 I stole the street signs after a tropical storm they blew down and I wanted em encouraged by mom she told me wait a day, grab em after sunset so nobody would see, does that make her my accomplice? probably not, but I stole the signs and I’m proud of it the eight one seven, Noa in the back of the valley we’d write songs on his porch and post em they missed me at the Okazuya while I was at Harvard Kalihi on port, Manoa on starboard Sam’s Delicatessen fed me more than my moms did I worked at Huckleberry Farms before it closed and they rebuilt the shopping plaza with the Banyan tree that was in Hungry Lion still enclosed remember VHS copped from the video shop rent em for a weekend, two dollars a pop Jurassic Park, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pokemon Blue version, I chose Squirtle Royal School fool, super super citizen Kawananakoa Middle, the botball champion shoutout Mr. Hasuko, for telling me that I wouldn’t get my life together ’til I turn thirty I’m not there yet, still a few years but I’m back now with some new peers teaching downtown, back where I was grown this is a love song to the valley I call home Nu’uanu, land of my birth I will love you until I’m scattered in earth Nu’uanu, land of my birth I will love you until I’m scattered in earth my valley scenic you ain’t seen it Nu’uanu and Hialoa those be my streets, kid my valley scenic you ain’t seen it Nu’uanu / Hialoa those be my streets I go by Sans on the microphone but my name is Sterling Higa I was born at Queens Medical Center and I lived my first twenty-three years in Nu’uanu Valley at the corner of Nu’uanu Avenue and Hialoa Street I will forever claim Nu’uanu as my home and I will always, always come back thanks to Ohtoro for making this music possible thanks to my mama for being my mama and thank you, for listening sail boat

credits

released November 23, 2017

All songs written by Sterling Higa and produced by Scott Ohtoro. Scratches on "will" and "love" by DJ Packo. Additional vocals on "love" by Creed Chameleon and Zack Shimizu. Trumpet on "step" by Ryan Miyashiro. Artwork by Spel Killz.

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Sans Honolulu, Hawaii

A rapper from Honolulu.

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